When was the last time I
Cried over someone like this?
It’s been ages since I even felt sorrow over someone
That wasn’t me.
It’s hard to articulate feelings
That you’re trying to throw away,
Especially when they’re blurred by
Tears and ambivalent relationships.
I’ve tried so hard to keep myself together, tied with
Promises I tell myself to get myself through the day.
I’m not really good at hiding lies behind smiles
When I care this much. Maybe it’s a matter of
Finding time to close myself off again.
I told myself it was a mistake baring myself to the world,
Like keeping the windows open
As a storm rolls in from the west side.
But what life is truly lived
When there are no risks taken? Maybe I
Am just unlucky enough to lose every gamble,
For the odds have never been
In my favor.