(Expletive) You


I’m angry because you don’t understand that
You think life is all fun and games
And
Even if you don’t
You have to understand that
For a girl who hates the society she lives in
She needs a little more somber
Than a little more gay.

You are
Not
My center of attention
Although you
Live
To be validated by me.
Maybe if you found your own
Passions and desires and goals and dreams
Then you’d accept the fact that
Rotation is normal for everyone—
Everyone, that is, except
You.
For I have love to give to everyone
And I love with moderation
For the friends I love and hold dear
All deserve the same love.

Because the friends I have are many
And therefore the insecurities I have are few.
But for you, the
Only one you have is me
And like Lennie Small
You have loved too hard and too much a
Breaking, delicate
Shell of a person
And you have killed her
Even though you never meant to
In the first place.

I stopped loving you
Because you killed me.
In a world full of grey
I needed not you
Who would fall at my feet
Had I asked.
I needed someone to
Carry the lamp for me
And guide me
And love me gently
Like the Sun
That knows to keep its distance
To keep us all alive.

But like George’s puppy
And ashes of the man who went to the sun
You burned me out
And crushed me.
And now there is no reversing death.

But life finds ways to start again.

(Expletive) You

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